When fate decides to lend a hand,
all you have to do is go with the flow,
but when fate decides to turn its back on you,
you will have more to do than to fall and weep.
-kelli

thanks xun. the truth is i guess what u said was true. but i wanna break free from that obligation. cos that only thing i feel from the obligation is only nothing but unhappiness. align ur goal, ur life with ur objective. wadava it is. when your enthusiasm gets killed totally, u just can't find it back again.

is it good or bad if people see through ur true confessions easily? sumtimes people think they know what u really feel, but in actual fact, u know they dun. actually, my blog is just for you xin ren to read. wadava it is, it is not to "shoot" or criticise anyone, or an indirect source of information, so i should just say what i like. anyway, i feel that i am that type of people. very few people can see what i really feel. that makes my weakest spot. cos when sumone can totally describe what u really feel, he or she is the one that really understand u and u are willing to pour erything our with.

i tink the song on my blog is what i really feel now though. it's by elva, ni shi wo xing zhong yi ju jing han. check it out if u like. bah.

anyway, went to sell tickets. then i suddenly feel like going back to my pri sch. so i went back. saw my p6 tcher. he said i changed, owells. he said i was more confident, but looked more unhappy too, or rather more problems. it's just barely half a year. anyway, sumtimes to recent events, i feel that the best way is just to keep my mouth shut and stop commenting, stop giving comments and stop erything. i shall just be dumb for the rest of this half of the year. maybee i shld go down more often to nssa, at least i feel much better dere. eryone face dissappointments before, eryone consoled himself or herself before. if u hadn't before, i would say u are a lucky boy or girl. and how does dissappointment come about, it comes with hope, that's why i learnt how to not give myself hopes. i would like to say shoo sometimes, but i can't say shoo to people. if i can't say it to people, i would just say it to the air. shoo. stop tormenting me. and stop making me feel so upset.

i hope u understand what i said. but if u dun, u might like to ask me. but if u dun want to, then nvm, cos i'm not bothering to explain here. going to watch chinese drama show later, so shall make my way back to school now. anyway, below is a psycology test, maybee u wld like to try it out.

let's say u are in a very impt gambaling game. everycard given to you might dertermine the results of the game, winning orlossing. athe dealer is giving out the cards now, you as a participant of the game, which card would u really want?

A: Spades
B: Club
C: Heart
D: Diamond

anyway, this is suppose to represent what is the most important to you. my choice is B tho. A: spades, means that work is most important to u. u like power and enjoy fame given when u do well in work [smth liddat] B: club, it's suppose to represent that u enjoy life the most, and view happiness as the most important. C: heart, u view relationships as the most important, especially love. u live for love and will do whatever to have love. D: diamond. diamond represents money. basically, means that u wld do anything to have money, a.k.a money minded.



todae last dae of sch. so was feeling a bit high and uttering nonsense. so nonsentical and make so much noise that ms tan is like abit irritated. at i was so nonsense duing cle tok also. and sumore i tink i said sumting stupid to the tcher when he ask me abt debbie being missing.

anyway, had goh prac. was quite dissapointed. and abit fustrated. i tink the sec2s had some of the problems we had last year. but i tink they really fell short of my expectations. maybe i was just too high to scold them, or maybe i was tired to scold. bcos of my thorat. and fustrated cos i tink a bit difficult to finish in time. damm. ok stop my vulgarities.

i am tired. i am tired of ppl trying to convince me into something when i clearly dun agree with it. i am tired of all those xu1 wei1 de4 mian4 ju4. i am tired of eryone [ok, maybe not eryone] but ppl tinking that i am perfect, and ask me to do things i dun wish to do. owells. i miss my piano. i dunno why. i din play for so long. i really miss it. and xun, becie, they all. i suddenly miss them very much.

that's abt time.

anyway, u all not suppose to understand the last sentence.



feeling damm irrrritated for sum reasons. and i realised that i have 9 free days during the hols. which is so. damm. sad. ahh. tmr last day. lalala. maybe that's sumthing worth looking forward to. ok, blog just to fa xie. fa xie finish liaos. bye~



oh yeah, i shall mention abt my dear report bk results. basically, it wasn't to bad, but i was think i can do a lot better. and my class average gpa is arnd 3.43 which is er, quite high. anyway, the comments contriduct each other. like sum tchers comment "a confident, articulate pupil that participates actively" and 1 of the tcher went " should be more vocal in class discussion" and 1 went "needs to develope confidence" owells. but out of 8 got 5 or 6 negative comments lah, saying that i shld pay attention in class. okay. i mean i tink i can concentrate better if i seat more in front a bit. i just get distracted when i seat right at the back. i mean i like the people around me lah. but i just dun like to sit at the back. dadeedum. realise my whole june hols is book. trying to make time to do hw. at least to finish hw, and maybee mug bio and chem, cos these are my worst 2 subjects. haha, and my grades very extreme lah.

oh and i got the signo exchange programme. meaning singapore and china exchange programme. dunno how i got it also cos it was rather tough competition. out of more than 20 students only 9 can get. so like 30% chance? and sumore i tink i screwed the interview, tok rubbish can? so i dunno how i got it, but i got it anyway. so yay! anyway, this means that i have to host one of the china students cumin in july, and she's going to stay over at my house on the 10th july. sigh, and i am bk that sat afternoon lol. so have to plan smth for her i guess. and i get to go China in nov. and cum back maybe must rite smthing for yrbk. and apparently i am going for nats camp. i was debating if i should go anort cos miss 2 days of sch. but nvm. sum force push me to go. and that's my playfulnesss. so basically ery month from now. i have smthing big on hand with the exception of sept. but that's mugging month. so sigh. and huang lao shi was saying out of the 9 students that got the exchange programme, 5 were her students. anyway, i was only sorta trying my luck on the programme. cos at first i was quite enthu, and submit the form. then after i sumbit the form, i regret a bit. then when i got the interview time, i convinced myself to go and saying that i shall just try my luck, but i guess i am really lucky so heh.

oh. i finally remm my baby photo. got 1 when i was real young, a baby. and 1 when i was arnd 2. can't decide which one to put yet. but nvm. and sorrie, i can't find a portrait photo. cos at first want protrait foto mah, cos the 3 other class comm members all portrait. so fine. i went to find but cannot find. haha. and if u all want to look at our baby fotos, can go to our classroom and look. D221!! anyway, back to the foto, i tink if look at my foto, the very young one not obvious is me. but i tink the 2 yrs old one can guess. cos looking the eyes. at least i guess that's how to recognise me, mayeb can ask them for better ways.. sigh, my flu's better now. but got that terrible cough. and sumore need to mug for rck acreed. i just can't get anything to my mind..



came back from camp. was reading suk-hui ma'am's letter. altho it is like her only letter to us, suddenly feel that i really dun want them to pass out. as in i was rather neutral at first. but i tink i wld really miss them. as in after being like a junior for so many years, ok, maybe 2 years+, then suddenly have to be in charge and blah, with noone to watch over directly, i guess it's a bit weird. cos i nearly wanted to cry when i read her note. duno what my reaction will be if it is really pop that day.

ok. me trying to promote transparancy in my year now. so must have regular updates and must make our community useful. hahaa. anyway, i feel that the sec4 ma'ams really try to equip us with skills that we need. anyway, as much as we dunwan to sec4 ma'ams to pass out. they still have to pass out sumdae. sumore i think they concentrating on their o'levels. i mean if the ma'ams continue being in charge of us, it'll be sorta selfish of us right? but i tink i really will miss them very much. maybe that's what i feel now. or it might change. i believe that actually most of us wld change when we take over, no matter now we dun tink we will.

niwae, i still left my yi lun wen haven rite yet. argh.. mee so dead. but surprisingly, me sleeping less than 2 hrs actually felt so awake now. sumtimes, i hope that i can be more disciplined. to finish erything. but cannot be so inflexible mah. cos i just like to watch tv haha.




went out today with xun they all todae. or rather i went to ka chiao them. anyway, thanks for wasting ur traning time and hear me su ku. i feel much better now. i had a lot of fun today. and manage to sell a few bklets of tickets. hahaha. thanks sweeties. for buying from me. and sum of them so nice helping me to sell. hahaha. lurve u all so much.*hugs* very thankful for such zhi xing peng you anyway. if u ever know. especially when they are willing to stop or slow down just to listen to u. especially when friends that always remm ur birthdae. and willing to celebrate with u even if they are very busy :) okay, i will definately remm our pact on 1st august. anyway, we celebrated becie's and xun's b'dae also. becie's one is late lah. cos it's on 1st of may. and we celebrated xun's one very early. cos it is on the 25th and they worried that i wun be able to make it on that day. anyway, might can lah. since last dae of sch is on 26th. but 25th is a long dae. sigh, so we celebrated for him lah basically.. even tho it's early by like 2 weeks. cos we celebrated very early for becie last time. and it was really early. so this bu suan shen me. like what becie said, it doesn't matter when u celebrate ur birthdae. except that u have ur loved ones or best frens with u. anyway, i still need to buy him (xun) a pressie. at least i remm becie's pressie and i just found the beanie that is suppose to be for shing's pressie in my bedroom. me really lousy pok. anyway, must remm to get pressie for xun. anyway, i think he is going for NS soon, or issit next year? shall ask nextime. anyway, i was at the supermarket and this happened btween a son and a mother and a son was really young, arnd 4:

son: mummy, i want this
mummy: u erything also want.. u dun even know what is this also want?

so i asked myself, what wrong with wanting? maybe that's ppl. i mean, it isn't wrong with wanting sumthing u dunno right? anyway, i shan't continue slacking. went out for the whole dae also never finish my hw. and sumore i now very hungry. although i ate a lot of nonsense. dunno why. like to eat so much. sumore shing's nick is chocolate now. make me even hungrier. want to type sumore, but my tummy is rumbling. so buaiz~



dun feel like blogging actually. but still..

looking for a nice article to write for jian bao. cos i decided to find a super nice one, so that i can write a super nice essay. since there is time. feeling damm irritated now. cos my brother was tunning his violin for the last half and hour. and now then he begin to play lah. and sumore he usually dun practice so he is playing like the old pieces which is so boring. then he bought this duno what thingy that help him tune his violin which is also damm irritating. sigh. and he complained that i ate too much icecream and left a bit only. i was like hello? i rarely eat icecream lol. u are the fat pok that eat so much. it was just that by chance i was the last one that ate icecream. toking abt icecream, i think i grew fatter a bit lah. cos i just feel that my sch belt is getting a bit tighter. for sum stupid reasons.

want to write my yilun wen now. but cannot, cos i usually dunrite nice essays when i am not in the mood. so might as well write a nice one. and i shall mug for my maths test which is on tues. sigh, this is the first time, i mug for a maths test lol. cos must do well in this test, to get a better grade point. or i will regret later cos i will miss that grade point with just 0.1111 smth. by a few decimal places lah. cos i sorta calculate my marks already. haha. maybe bcos hafto work a bit harder cos i failed my first maths test? i mean i guess it was just lack of practice cos i was still in honeymoon period at that time back from the hols. but as ms tan had said. i am "improving tremedously" now. reason is that i suddenly from failing mark jump to 29/30 for 2nd test and did quite well for eoi (according to her, i did well lah). but still must work hard for this cumin maths test. and must be more disciplineed a bit. cos sumtimes cannot stand the televison or comp and end up wacthing tv or using the com. must ren. or sumtimes i will end up finished sum red cross stuff. not like zee, so focused, always do hw first. i mean that's where we are different. she always do hw first and i am always the other way round. hehe.

anyway, stop toking rot. buh byez.



"别怕，就算蒙住双眼也看见，爱情就在我们的附近，我用呼吸去感觉，幸福的寓言…”
《迷宫》杨千嬅、梁朝伟

tink that quote is nice. next time erytime i blog, i shall add a quote. anyway, just helped mannshing with her blog.. and i give up lah. cos my com is just so problematic. oh, got back my 地下铁 compo. got 75/100. considered quite gd liaos. cos it was like the 3rd highest.. cos my chenna tcher very strict on this type of stuff. and i got like a thousand wrong words. sumore this is counted lolx and we knew our chinese marks also. got the same mark. suddenly, my cheena is like my best subject. but owells. i suddenly did very badly under ms kong last year. so maybee i am doing well again. but my maths got a bit heywired beginning of the year. now also abit betta. anyway, i din expect to get so high for chenna test. cos got 长文缩短 and i din mug at all lah. am i am super sure i lost at least 10 marks from the words already lolx. (so u can imaging how bad my words are). then not including 造句 and blah. but we cannot get back lah. cos got ppl haven take yet. and anyway, i was so relieved that i pass maths eoi. ms tan said i did quite ok. but i think got quite a few failers lah. arnd maybe 1/4 of the class. and still cannot get back. cos 302 chickenpox ecademic ppl still haven cum back. sigh.

PROFILE

AMDIS (:
girl
singapore
mayflowerpri
greenridgepri
rafflesgirls
hadlian
101'02
201'03
306'04
406'05
hwachongjc
07s65
classrep
hcanoegirls
hcinteract
huangcheng07
4thaug89
eighteen
redcrossVI(:
awwa volunteer