When fate decides to lend a hand,
all you have to do is go with the flow,
but when fate decides to turn its back on you,
you will have more to do than to fall and weep.
-kelli

haha. 4th time i blogged today. anyway the ma'ams came back for o level results today. brought back loads of memories. remember how they ask us to bring the unit to greater heights. have we done it now? i have no idea. maybe so. aft winning talentime, fa comp. and fd comp 2nd. and most prolly uea gold and csa gold. maybe we really brought the unit to greater heights. but am i happy wth it?

i guess so wth all the hard work that comes behind it. but well, the fact that i am not happy at all. sometimes i was wondering if my juniors only excel externally but not internally. think it is just that we are too competitive and therefore we always fail to look at our weakness and strengths. i believe that the strongest person out there wld be one to discover his or her weaknesses and ablility to overcome it.

just a piece of advice to all juniors. and everyone else.
there will always be someone getting the trophies and some who do not.i can see upset faces on some ppl face. it may happen to my friends from other units. it might happen to my juniors. it may happen to my cadets in future. if i bcome a vi. but i think there will always be someone at the top, and similarly at the bottom...if everyone is at the top, the value of being top is no longer significant.there will be times for the top to come down, and the bottom to go up. it is hard to sustain to be the top...but is also not easy for the ppl at the bottom to move up..so we shall not be concern abt the outcome..is the process tat is the most impt. i believe everyone who had work hard for it, is the winner, a winner. as long as they work hard, n do their best. result does not matter. and winning is just that extra cheery on the cake. because you work hard for it [to overcome your weakness], you have already won yourself. cus the biggest competitior is yourself.

not trying to suan other units here. in case you all are thinking i am. but be it now. or future competitions coming up. everyone of you all are winners in some way or another. so everyone, continue to rock on, and most imptly, pursue your dreams!



really pissed wth some pple. i really need to blog to vent my anger. my happiness. (last entry) my sorrow (last last entry) i am SO SORRY for not doing my work. but please it isn't exactly hundred percent my fault?! thanks. i know you slept at 3. or 2 or 1. or wadever. but do you know i sleep at 4+ on a weekend, next day monday. like you said you are a HUMAN, so am i. bah. wdv u need to live. i need it too. i am not like some special super woman. and it's not as if 4+ for 1 day. but a few consesutive days. fine, i admit i am getting abit older or so. i really cant tahan and my body cannot take it. anyway. is anyone interested in breaking my record? 30 hrs or so for 10 days / 12 hrs for 6 days. if any teacher can break my record. i wld spent as much time as he or she is awake to complete homework. ba.



went awwa today. and celebrate rabiena's b'dae. haha. had my share of cake of cus. stayed there until 6.30 and as usu reach my aunt's place near 8. mr lum is damm cute. haha. guess wad he did to me. anw. he is very adorable. tsk tsk. today was a taxing job. sending all of them back. in the rain. and somemore some places got construction sites wor.

tired of hearing people's compliments and criticisms. was happy at awwa just now. but falling right back to depression when i saw this piles of work. guess i am that type of pple that really believe in jian dan jiu shi kuai le. why cant we choose what we wan to do. singapore children are just plainly suffering under a pre-planned life for 20 years. which goes to education. but aft today. it makes me more keen not to proceed to rjc. think i wld really wan to go nyp. hai.

as i was saying. met joe today again. wad a coincidence. aft so many years. wonder if how the feelings change. duno abt his feelings tho. but i still feel nothing. except pure frens. perhaps it was just puppy love on his part then. but i guess all of us have grown up in a certain sense. he asked for my no. forgot to give him. or maybe i dun wan to. well let it be. if we really have fate, we wld meet agn.

to the most important person in my life.
i know you will not have the chance to read this now. but i want to say, thank you for sharing your world with me. althought you never said it, i am very proud that in your very big love, a big part of it is for me. now you pass on your love to me, or gave all your love to me, i would definately pass on to the places you would want me to, no matter what costs it might take. thanks for bringing me to appreciate the life i want. and you will always occupy the most important spotin my heart. i love you. thanks for always being there for me the past 8 years.

from this moment on
i do swear that i'll always be there. i'll give anything and everything and i will always care. through weakness and strength, happiness and orrow. for better, for worse. i will love you with every beat of my heart..

from this moment life has begun
from this moment you are the one
right beside you is where i belong
from this moment on

from the moment i have been blessed
i live only for your happiness
and for your love i'd give my last breath
from this moment on

i give my hand to you with all my heart
can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
you and i will never be apart
my dreams came true because of you

from the moment as long as i live
i will love you, i promise you this
there is nothing i wouldn't give
from this moment on

you're the reason i belive in love
and you're the answer to my prayers from up above
all we need is just the two of us
my dreams came true because of you

from this moment as long as i live
i will love you, i promise you this
there is nothing i wouldn't give
from this moment

i will love you as long as i live
from this moment on



hee. back again. really lost at what to do now. feeling more tired mentally than physically. it is just mentally stressing. really really dunno what to do. sometimes i have no idea why they have to treat her as a total stranger, and trying to be friendly at the same time. it is like being hypocrites. feeling sandwiched in betweeen. cus if i were to do this, i wld betray them. but if i do otherwise, i wld betray my true feelings.

just feeling super lost lost lost. lost at words for what to say to make someone feel better. it's just like u know it wld never come true. but saying things that wld hopefully cheer him or her up. but hai. at least shafali is happy.

sometimes i just wish to get off from school forever. but it is just a way of running away. i am just super duper tired. wish to have time for yuu. hope you know who yuu are. had less time to visit him too. but he will definately be happy to know me spread his love for him. but that. is also a demanding task. wth so many challenges on the way.

haish.
life is beautiful in a way.
life is cruel too in a way.

can we overcome fate?
maybe not.
we just lost in the hands of God.

ah. forgot to say. i am numb by accademic. so i decided to left my rs there to die. life is about youu~



haha. pretty stressed lately. dun really know wad to say. sometimes i really like to throw my temper and well. yah. maybe thats the old me. was abit not happy wth the sec1s for delaying and delaying. for days. but wells. fine. they are sec1s. but guess this makes things very difficult for shing and me. hai. haven even order or fax the uniform. crap la. and wth all de sports heats swim carn, founders day cumin up. life basically meant hell.

got history test tmrw. but i seriously see the chance of me passing equals to being very slim. really feeling quite tired lately. sleeping at 1,2 plus. hai. basically majority of de sec4s are driven crazy la. we can even sleep during PE. imagine. haha. so red cross takes up loads of my time. but well. so what. think some tchers are pissed wth me for not doing work. lol. so wad. i clearly know i cant cope. ya. but i rather give up my studies. than to give up special olympics. or awwa. or ccf. some pple around me has been asking me to give up one of the projects. but i seriously dunno which one to give up out of the 9, 10 +. lol. and anw, i wun bear to give it up, i know my passion and love for this and i wun give it up, even if i kana screamed by a thousand pple.

which reminds me. dun see the pt of making pple do cip for the sake of hrs. cip shld be something you enjoy. not going there to suffer. seriously feel sad for people who think cip is a chore. maybe dats ant pov. but well. dun think old pple are troublesome and bah. they are nice, okay. better than some idiotic pple.

keep trying to hang on. only less than 10 mths less!! sounds so short but long. hai. heard from some pple since some time that i am real capable and bah. but dats no use anymore. i begin to doubt myself. wads the use. i let my life to charge of me instead of taking charge of my life. bah. am feeling real stressed. but well. just hang on.

anyway, to a friend very special to me. i know the feeling of falling in cus i fell in before. it's hard to climb out of this but i am sure you can do it. you did it before and i believe in you that you can definately climb out of this again.



hee. took the day off today. need a break. serious!! lol. i was choinging my rs until 2am ytd. and din even hve time to do hist. running a slight fever and blah. sigh. life has been pretty hectic lately. no going home before 8pm, so far. with the exception of chinese new year eve. even sat is flood with special oylmpics and bah. fine, dats bcus it's my choice. but if i had a choice, i rather gave up somethings that i have to do, rather than give up special olympics this kinda thing.

hai. cant even find time to go hq nowadays. well, but no choice now. it's the beginning of hell. all the sec1s coming in. and obviously my pocket has been tightened like crap, since have to pay for uniform acessories kind of thing for the secones first. and fortunately and unfortunately, we have forty two secones, cool right. and footdrill comp and stuff. aha, at least enrol camp quieten down for the moment. hai, i feel very sleepy nowadays everyday frankly, think what kept me going was just the thing that got me energectic. i guess. bondless of energy.

haha. looking forward to pop actually. cus it also signifies that there is only three more months of secondary school life. it's happy and sad actually, but well, time dont wait for us. anyway, so far, really appreciate my yearmates. it has been a hard time mans, to survive with so little manpower. even planning training is difficult with so little of us. with all of us having other commitments. being qms, i dont know, if shing and i had done a good job, but well, we have a dummy prob agn --boot socks. but seriously as welfare heads, i think mich and i din do a very beautiful job i guess. we all have other service projects. or to say that we both love to serve, but because the constraits of proposing something within redcross, it's difficult and people just something just like to choose the easier way out.

i recall when i was a junior. everything seems so li suo dang ran. we never knew how much work was there behind the scenes. haha. was asked if i would join vip after my sec sch life a few times recently. hai, maybe it's time to put serious thought in this. quite tempted to join actually. well. shall see ((: haha, back to my rs x(



for some reason or so, i am so bloodly pissed and irritated. ha. this cny seems to be rather sian and no meaning in it. lol. wad de. i see myself seriously obsessed with sims2. and all the projects, except for schoolwork. bah. school means nothing to me. lol. anw, for de last few wks, de sch management was blabbing abt cirriculum at rjc and blah. lol. sigh. not planning to go rj anw. setting my heart on something else. hai, 2 more wks to fd comp. and den de shit period will begin. lol. anw. de intro of de shit period is gg to begin after this cny hols. not very looking fwd. hai, what am i doing.

ha. lol. something great. our uea and csa hasnt been submited YET. bah. bcus of sum stupid darn reason. to think i spent nitez on it. hai. lol. because of de 3 extra months that our year is in charge, we have do double of everything. sounds so nice right. double training plan. double this double that. all thanks to the dear raffles programme. if you think i sound very anti-rp, you are right, i seriously dun see anything good cumin out of this. in fact, taking o levels may just be a blessing in disguise. lol. so in short, i hate raffles programme!

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