Sunday, May 14, 2006
i feel that i am going crazy. yes the word is feel. so i am not yet.
yup my grandfather has stablised a bit. yet it doesnt mean there will be no changes. and to think that all of them have been quarreling about this thing called money. yeah. where the hell were they where they was endless bills to pay? i know dad and one of my aunts cant take it anymore. be it physically or financially. so was paying quite a lot of things on my own. even my stupid bro's hp bill. i still cant really figure out why he needs a hp. but whatever.. if it makes him shut up.
so i gotta remind myself linkamania is coming up. so is ulp. cant afford to just push it aside anymore. like i did the past one and a half week. and kind of leaving my two units, elderly and kids in isolation which also leads to the horrible email accumulation. (somehow they link). i kind of wanted to say that i cant do ulp on thurs. but wells. since they are short of people. i shall try to cope the best i can, i guess. i was in stoning mood this whole week. stone.
fell in love at11:09
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
for some stupid reason. i find myself mugging. yes. i dont know why. i was deep in books the whole day. continuously into those a level 10year [or 5year that i dontknow] series. maybe for once i dont feel like doing work. be it facing those never ending assessment reports and forms or those linkamania nominal rolls. i just click the x button and said bye to it. and find my way back to my books.
anyone that knows me probably know i hardly mug. and my o level ten year series is probably as blank as a brand new book. but for some i dono what reasons. my a level physics is almost a quarter filled after today. achievement huuh. even though they are mostly filled with the mcq part only. but still. and to highlight that physics is my most hated subject. yes. and the most crazy thing is i am just purely doing physics for the sake of doing physics.
yes. and i am still continuing my eating disorder. eating and eating. i ate the hello panda chocolate biscuits half hour after my dinner. and now the strawberry dip biscuits which i meant to give my niece but unfortunately she was deep in her sweet dreams. oh dear. my pancreas must work so much harder to produce this hormone call insulin. poor pancreas. and now some sweetie pie is tempting me with the bbq chicken wing. but in order not to work my digestive tract so hard, i shall say no to such temptation.
due to see the doctor again on friday. and for the first time since last year maybe. i am scared. scared about the test results i suppose. i even feel like just make a call and change it a bit later. but fact is. face up to reality, girl. the fact is i shouldnt eating so many things but naughty as usual (: but my diet besides those occasional little little snacks. it is really healthy already! well, someone once say i don feel the prick until the needle really prick me. maybe. maybe even when i get pricked i will still continue. i guess i am no longer held back by the things that used to hold me back. or even held back by anything. someone told me recently. he said that i look stronger on the surface yet more vulnerable on the inside. true reflection? it is a symptom of aging. look around you and you see the trend. haha.
fell in love at20:33
