Tuesday, March 29, 2005
i am tired. of meeting so many deadlines which seems very hard to meet.
i am tired. of fitting things into a very tight schedule.
i am tired. of going through the stress when i am super behind schedule.
i am tired. of all the tension at home. (one speaks bad of another)
i am tired. of copping to supporting my good friends through these hard times.
and with all these add together. really feel worn out. dun feel like eating during meal times. feel so annoyed with minor tasks. dats why my hp is off and i wun pick up calls at home. really dun feel like it. but no matter how hard it is. still have to continue. finally knew the results of siew's ct scan. she has a grwoing bone on her left shoulder also. even bigger than the right one. only operation can solve. and heard that the operation is risky mans. a big op. and some of the bones had touches the nerve so she feels pain and sometime numbness. got chance to become handicap.
really feel worn out. but have to continue supporting her. i know shes scared. and che too. praying for the both of them. i wish for inner peace and quiet. life is really going too fast. i am just dragged by life. when was the last time i got to walk leisurely for a day. when was the last time i need not worry about anything. when was the last time i need not suffer under those muscle pains and tensions.i guess i dun mind taking things slowly. but somehow the people around you keep making you do things that you dun wan. sometime think of it. why plan. you plan plan plan. but in the end. all your plans wld be disrupted bcus of smth dat happen. so. just take things one thing and a time. events in future. think later. we dun hve so much brain cells to kill.
fell in love at22:34
i am tired. of meeting so many deadlines which seems very hard to meet.
i am tired. of fitting things into a very tight schedule.
i am tired. of going through the stress when i am super behind schedule.
i am tired. of all the tension at home. (one speaks bad of another)
i am tired. of copping to supporting my good friends through these hard times.
and with all these add together. really feel worn out. dun feel like eating during meal times. feel so annoyed with minor tasks. dats why my hp is off and i wun pick up calls at home. really dun feel like it. but no matter how hard it is. still have to continue. finally knew the results of siew's ct scan. she has a grwoing bone on her left shoulder also. even bigger than the right one. only operation can solve. and heard that the operation is risky mans. a big op. and some of the bones had touches the nerve so she feels pain and sometime numbness. got chance to become handicap.
really feel worn out. but have to continue supporting her. i know shes scared. and che too. praying for the both of them. i wish for inner peace and quiet. life is really going too fast. i am just dragged by life. when was the last time i got to walk leisurely for a day. when was the last time i need not worry about anything. when was the last time i need not suffer under those muscle pains and tensions.i guess i dun mind taking things slowly. but somehow the people around you keep making you do things that you dun wan. sometime think of it. why plan. you plan plan plan. but in the end. all your plans wld be disrupted bcus of smth dat happen. so. just take things one thing and a time. events in future. think later. we dun hve so much brain cells to kill.
fell in love at22:34
Sunday, March 27, 2005
eek. all my skin is scrapping off. hai. dunno why. every wk also liddat. can be every wk also sunburnt ritez? lol. is like sunburnt skin scrapping off liddat. hai. school is starting tmrw. sian. headace at the thought of it. i dread school. sigh.
fell in love at12:34
Friday, March 25, 2005
saw a forum debating if singapore is a good place to live in. well. i guess. it is physically. no disasters. life is more or less stable. but emotionally? dun think so. i guess it is not the way. but the competitive spirit here. seeing the 65percent of pple have personal computers. one wld work for one also. and in the process of working for it. stress level hit a new record. cus keep forcing yourself to get one asap cus others are progressing also. well. i guess it's just human's competitive spirit.
and when authority is competing, and when you dun wan to. you wld feel opressive. cus authority is forcing you to. wonder if this is the case in rgs. all the teachers pratically making us to go into rjc. why? competition. the girls we produce must be the best. whatever. really feeling very tired. my heart is really hurt. was looking at some charts who. realise that now. singapore dependancy ratio is like from now 8.3percent to 21.8 percent. hai.
siew came back from her medical appt. but she din really wan to say what is the result like. so din force her. pray it is not bad news. sometimes deciving yourself is not a bad idea.
fell in love at13:58
Thursday, March 24, 2005
woke up at 5.30 today. then went to see doctor with yeye. sigh. it was okay i guess. but hve to go back again. hai. then rush down all the way to awwa in taxi. but then before that went to sell tissues and bought some also from darrine and huishan. then went to bring the elderly to lunch.lunch was very nice. mr sim din know the direction so i was directing him all the way. i became a not bad guide around singapore. it was quite ok. except the pelvis pain kept coming back sigh.
anw. went for piano. ms kon is leaving. me very sad mans. she taught me for like more than 6 years le. know all my strengths and weaknesses. really feeling super sad.then took the chance to change the timing of my piano lorh. but apparently none of the tcher hve time. since my piano is lke 1hr45min when most of them only hve 45 min free time. hai. feel so sad. ms kon leaving.
one thing to look fwd to. jj's new album. really appreciate his music. understand the meaning behind them. think i might teach part time piano. wth wendy. since she asked me. and dere are pple willing to be taught by me. hai. which would really cram my schedule. and hopefully my parents wun put the curfew at 11pm. i really die already. kept going home late. even before teaching already reach home at 10+. hai.
fell in love at20:43
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
got two days mc. today and tmrw. went for outing today at parkway parade. it was quite ok except for a scary hitcup. one of them nearly fall. it's really not easy to keep your eyes on even one of them. because your eyes wld be distracted. hahaha. den aft dat, i so scared dat i dun dare to leave my eyes off de one who nearly fell. guess it's true. the more time you spent. the longer you do it, the more experience you become. and was frantically finding volunteers in the afternoon to bring them for lunch tmrw. not very successful tho. cus eryone had smth on. =(
anyway. agenda for tmrw. accompany yeye to hospital. for the plain reason that noone in my family is so duper busy and well. it's good that he has the sense on how to eat the medicine and when. or else i bet if he gets drug posioning. no one would know why. and then after that. bringing awwa elderly out for lunch. it's rare that two outing are right after another. haha. usu only once a month. if can, maybe i bring yeye along. cus tmrw i will be rushing like a siao ding tong. haha. spent a bomb on them too. think tmrw i will let yeye take taxi home cus he got asthma and old so better not too much. think he has enough exercise anw. hai. actually i dun mind scrimping and saving myself. but well. thinking that i will take up saxaphone. but think i will be paying myself. cus dad's paying for a lot. and well. dun ever hve the idea for mum. anw. got piano tmrw. which reminds me. spent a bomb last sat on piano books. cus i really culdn't stand it. think all my savings are gg to be depleted soon. haha. of cus far-sighted me. is going to save twice as hard. and realise i got loads of reciept never claim yet. but well. just hope they dun go past the deadline and cannot claim. and that, after that, have piano. and with all these activities. obviously i am going to pon the tsunami tissue thing.
hai. they have enough pple le anw. this is what i mean by failure of society. make a big kick out fuss out of tsunami and then never cared about wad is around us. not that i meaning tsunami not ought to be given attention. but what i mean is that even before tsunami, this is how things are. heard that more pple have been volunteering. yea. ad hoc. it's quite bad actly. cus wad we really need is regular. and it is the percentage dats increasing. not necc mean no. of pple. it may just be the sample population that decreased. bah. but pray that things are really going to improve after the swept of tsunami. but well. i guess even me last year. bcus of stuff have not been totally involved also. so well, i shant really say about pple.
siew khim having her results of CT scan tmrw. all the best, gurl! (: genetic bone disease. hmm. anw, love ya. mr lum looks very sad when he knew he wasnt going for outing today. due to a miscommunication on the adminstration part. hai. felt so soory for him. think he has already a special soft spot in my heart. anyway. when i came back. cus i bought kaya toast. wasnt suppose to give any of them extra food. but i felt so sorry for him that i gave him half a slice. tnk hes really adorable. partly cus he cant remb what. but something that makes you develope like 10 years slower or something.
hee. everyone has a freedom. after everything i went through lately. i am really going to follow this. do what you love and love what you do.
fell in love at22:17
Monday, March 21, 2005
hee. wanted to ask the juniors if they wanna visit awwa during this learning journey. but nvm, think they are not very interested in elderly. dont know what to say really. duno how to convey my feelings. or it might be i just dun wan to.
fell in love at18:49
Saturday, March 19, 2005
sometimes the person that knows you best hurt you the most. cus you wld not expect him/her to hurt you.
but i really hate my mummy.
how can she talk to
yeye liddat. i know i never said this. no one matter more than
yeye in my eyes now. sometimes i really wonder if life would be better if only two of us lived together. seriously. out of the five of us in this so-called home.
yeye is always excluded cus hes old. and wth me always siding him. i always pissed my parents off. and when dey go out. so in conclusion, it will always be the 3 of them. not that i mind being excluded. but if you dont like him. why agreed to stay with him and complain. always get upset when both of them quarrel. will always feel sad for
yeye remb i got slapped once for speaking up for him. i will always remmeber that. i mean he cant help being old and thus need to turn up the volume to hear the news. wads the use of complain complain.
you will grow old one day too. one day when you cannot hear. and need to turn up the volume. would you like people to scream at you.
and why do you treat him as a person wth multiple sickness when hes perfectly perfectly healthy?seperate this seperate that. i hateyou.hateyou.hateyou.hateyou.
fell in love at21:43
tell me how to stop myself from being a perfectionist cum idealist.
then i would hopefully have more time.
then i would hopefully do my hw. bah.
fell in love at19:41
Friday, March 18, 2005
i admire most healthcare professions. the reason i used most is because it does not include doctors. i suddenly realise how much patience is needed especially i am sure there are people who find it a chore even for one day. and for doctors. they only examine and prescribe medicine. the healthcare professions i really admire are the physiotherapists. nurses. even nursing attendents. do you know how troublesome it is to bring a wheelchair bound person up and down the stairs. hmm. nearly fainted when i saw how troublesome it is to bring a wheelchair person up and down the stairs.
every day somemore.something that i always have on my mind. feel that singapore really failed as a society. singaporean's duality behaviour. saw how many people criticised maia lee. wonder what right they have to criticise her. in fact, i applaud for her for daring to go towards what she wants. pah. singaporeans react so wonderfully in times of national need, like sars. they donate generously to national causes like tsunami. yet, everyday,on one-to-one basis, someone who is ill is being ridiculed. if one can sympathise with tsunami victims, yet cannot sympathise with people we intereact with daily, i say that we are really social failures. not saying singaporeans are wrong. i prefer to have a neutral view to this. it's just that a lot of us are simply too insensetive. seriously, i believe that maia now, would not mind how others criticise her. or saying that it was a good thing that maia and sly din get married. the thing that she most prolly be upset about is the public saying her parents are not good parents.
isn't that sad? which brings me to wonder the objective of education. once, a consellor said education should teach us to reach out to those in need; to be inclusive. that's sad you know. cus i think education did not meet its objectives.
anyway. found out how difficult is it to mantain a voluntary welfare organisation. speaking on this is after looking thru so many. dun have enought staff to mantain. yet, have to take in more. so that there would be more money to run.
heh. idealist me. just found out that i am an idealist cum perfectionist. so is ern. no wonder people say opposite attracts. dun feel lke typing anymore. sometimes i wonder what is there to be glad about in this world.
my contact list is full. really full. cus i deleted all the people that i already can. and it is still full. bah.
fell in love at16:32
Thursday, March 17, 2005
just type a long and meaningful entry. but stoopid blogger deleted it cus of some problems. bah.
fell in love at15:20
Monday, March 14, 2005
hee. enrolment camp ended yesterday. well done juniors ((:it was sucessful superficially. in depth, well. shant say. so did promotion. be it the answer to who deserve it or not [which i do not wish to comment]. just hoping that it leads to minimum dispute. i guess it's not that i wish to comment. it's just that we have no right to judge i guess. we have the right to choose. or rather say that rank is something you wear. and at the end of the day, respect is what we earn.
heh. went school early in the morning today. then went hq. sigh. met joe again. what a coincidence. i finally find how mean is it to reject someone. but on my thinking sense, i had to. i dont want to hurt him. i will never fall into this kind of trap again. never, never. obviously it led to a series of feelings. why is everyone unintentionally pushing me to the bottomless pit again? anw. i realised that mr chua said a very different thing to me as compared to the others during parade. hai. weird. somebody once said i am that kind of person who live with my values and would die to protect my values. i know i am very stubborn adhereing to my values system even if i need to oppose to the whole world. i rather keep true to what i believe in regardless of expectations or demands.
i clearly know that. but i dun care. if you go against your values. then wads the use of living? anw. at first got a lot of things to type abt enrol camp, but not now. realise dat i dun wan to say anything hurting. dun wan to hurt myself anymore.
i have you to be with me.
fell in love at20:15
Thursday, March 10, 2005
suddenly felt a tinge of sadness when i saw her jumping so lively around. her, a four year old girl. i was smiling yet, feeling sad inside. i guess it is true. having extraverted intuition and introverted feeling. i will never show my true feelings at any moment. at least. at that point of time.
anyway. feel so sad that i really dont feel lke talking. description of my personality.
The Inspirer
As an ENFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system.ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.
An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values. ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.
Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.
Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivous to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members. (mum always complain about tidiness, haha)
An ENFP who has "gone wrong" may be quite manipulative - and very good it. The gift of gab which they are blessed with makes it naturally easy for them to get what they want. Most ENFPs will not abuse their abilities, because that would not jive with their value systems.
ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.
ENFPs who have not learned to follow through may have a difficult time remaining happy in marital relationships. Always seeing the possibilities of what could be, they may become bored with what actually is. The strong sense of values will keep many ENFPs dedicated to their relationships. However, ENFPs like a little excitement in their lives, and are best matched with individuals who are comfortable with change and new experiences.
Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendancies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.
ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.
Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.
ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.
from
http://personalitypage.com/ENFP.html
fell in love at22:28
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
got good thing and bad thing today.
first. i am so proud of my sectwos today!! haha. anyway. just wanna say i am very proud of them and yup, they finally act as seniors. hai. but still need a bit more initiative and people-centred.
second. i am so dissappointed wth my secthrees. seriously believe we are very slack wth them, and they are so. sigh. when did we ever have 6 long days. and this year, their tests were more spread out la due to last yea wad happen to our batch. last year, we practically have 6 tests per wk. wth maths test ery 3-5 wks? hai. seeing them liddat. i wonder if i have any confidence in handing over the unit to them as much as i wld really love to do so. have no idea why they need to spent more than 4 hrs on the comp, when it just at most take 4 pple 2hrs each to finish.
third. enrol camp is in 2-3 days time. and as usu. things are in a pretty mess.
anw, the memories brought back make me really miss you ern. to think of last year where my year had to manage wth so lit manpower. had to buy food on fri and nvr forgot how he braved the rain, and just came to help me wth de stuff. just permit the s3s to buy food on thurs. altho not really sup to.
thanks for erything dear.
fell in love at22:41
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
hmm. busy filling all the rubbish forms around now. hai. my brain cells are killed. somemore got english test tmrw. diaos. enrol camp is this sat. ahh. duno whether to command goh or be stick. well, it depends on my voice. my throat really hurts since fd comp. i know i got voice but owells.
i am really feeling tired.
dont feel like talking
jia zhuang de xing fu.xu wei de kuai le.xian zai de wo. lei le.
fell in love at21:15
Sunday, March 06, 2005
hah. sometimes dun ask wads her problem. the fact is she has no problem. cus both parties think differently dat in a way, you think he/she has a prob. dats something i learnt long ago. which is why i remain indifferent abt loads of pple's actions. it's rather pissing, but learnt to tolerate and you wld win at the end of the day. cus others cannot take it and walk away.
i dun dare to take one more step anymore. i am just scared that the next step i take. i will just break down and bang on the wall or something. yup, i know i can switch myself to maximum happiness mode in front of people, or as and when i like. but i cant switch it on twenty four hours a day. everyday seems lke a torture. crying spells more often. bah.
sometimes, wld like to blame him. but will think. are his intentions good? i dontknow.
quote from somewhere:
unreal bliss. fake happiness. the present me, tired.i guess everyone is. but eryone has to go on.
fell in love at21:26
hah. i got 7 mins to blog. hmm. i typed an entry 2days ago. but it is saved in my notebook. hmm. anw, talk abt ytd.
goh was screwed
1) the commands cannot be heard. so cant the timing. so it turn up screwed.
2) casulties. so it screwed us up.
heard that ringers were also screwed, they had no conductor.
so conclusion. founder's day formal proceedings was screwed.
talking to yongkeong ytd. suddenly found how teenagers now are controlled by society. with no means of breaking through from this. this is really sad you know. hai, heard that he could get to the national team for judo, but he din go cus his mum din allow. think his mum think that there is no future. had a long chat ytd tho. arnd 5 hrs? hah. it's good to do some catching up sometimes. anw. talk abt wad we chat abt nxt time.
felt upset about loads of stuff lately. i know i am falling back in to depression again. kept trying to pull myself out. yup. i know i dun look depresed or anything. but i guess some pple around me can just see it. i am tired you know. am i not allowed to take a break? am i not a human? the slash down dere reminded me of you, you know. no one knows about it, but you do. no one knows me as well as you do. cus you know i am upset now.
saw a website debating about crushes and true love. crushes are so-called love at first sight, and is selfish and self-centred. agreed. seriously, dun believe in any long-lasting love based on love at first sight. i dun think it is love at first sight. it's more likely taking a liking to at first sight. true love is based on a long term relationship, and it is care and concern, and sacrificial. agreed. but true lovers might not have the chance to be together.
hai. looks like my hols are as busy as can be. sometimes wondering wad is life. when everyone's life has the same ending.
fell in love at16:48
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
founders day. sports fest heats. red cross. homework. chinese test. rs. outing proposal. enrol camp proposal.
you think i pro ah. can finish all these 8 things in 9 hrs. (i.e. 9pm to 6 am) even if i dun sleep. i am no superwoman to finish each thing in 1+hr. if i were to choose, i rather not be pro. and please dun come and ask me stupid questions. thank you very much. bah.
fell in love at23:30
haha. no one can ever be as pro as me to use two comps at one time. hai. sorry but dats how busy i am. sometimes wondering if i will die multi-tasking but well. tsk tsk. i am sorry that i look so tired when ever i talk to you but i have not much of a choice. somehow alot of pple are adding me to msn this moment. so this is the msn peak period. imagine my contact list bombing. so well.
thats why i dun like going online nowadays. cus most of hte time. it is just talking with wu liao pple. can someone direct me somewhere. somehow people are stressing to me how impt accademic is nowadays. okay fine. maybe they are impt to some extent now. but will they ever be more impt that human relationships. fine i duno. but find it so impossible to leave someone dear to you alone. when at that moment, you are so impt to them.
i wish to move towards the direction of happiness. but the direction of happiness dussen contain studies. or at least it wun be the main story of life. anw, today, had trng. was taking fd like the whole session. losing my voice even more. hai, think the sec1s are okay actually. for sec1s standard. you cant hope for them to be perfect. be realistic.
heartbeat and tears are the best evidence.
cus they narrate the inner story of your heart.
fell in love at21:59
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
wake up loser.
i feel sleepy. on mc tmrw. but obviously gg sch tmrw since there is trng. i feel depressed. scared. sometimes just wish to get the knife and poke into myself. sigh. dussen matter. i am already torn into pieces anw. a distorted me. torn into so many places that wans me. i feel like a piece of pork. being chop into so many pieces, but been so numb that i duno how many pieces i have been cut into. someone tell me what to do please. been told to do homework by my parents. but obviously my heart isnt there. is it my subconscious mind that been told by him that i must help them? or have my soul been following him all the time?
have no idea.
i only know i am scared.
fell in love at22:43
i am suddenly scared. for che. nothing scares me more than all these now. ever since kor was gone. ever since he was gone. ever since she committed suicide. ever since i saw a decomposed body. ever since he went for brain op. the truth is. i am scared.
i know it is no use thinking what if. and you wld ask me to think positive. but somehow so many negative things happened that practically just depress you. or is it that aft meeting so many negative things, we will have a happy ending? haha. maybe it wld be liddat. or maybe that only happen in fantasies.
he brought me a lot of happy memories. i was never ever so heartbroken before. some pple may think all is fine now. but the fact is my heart still ache. remb when i was a bit younger. i always thot when people said heart ache, it is only a metopher. but only when i experience it, i finally realise that the heart
do ache. che too brought me back nice memories. somehow feel that the lit time we spent together was very precious. she is just a very very dear friend to me.
we are often looking for answers. but unfortunately. life never offers answers. it hides them and let us look for it. or sometimes. we never found the answer. never found the solution.
fell in love at21:33
ah. mc today. with a high fever. and also took the excuse to have a day to choing my hw. but just now suddenly brainwave. got ant idea for service learning stuff!! sigh, haha but as usual. no volunteers. all my usual batch of volunteers are busy. haha. was thinking of working wth hope and bring those nepal stuff to sell in school or smth. shld be quite interesting. and should be quite appealing to rgs gals. all the money will go to constructing third world countries. haha. hai. got overseas expedition end of year leh. but cannot go. can never let my parents find out that i spent ALL my time volunteering. they will just kill me on the spot. haha. maybe not all my time in the past. but i guess since nov last year. i just find myself wu fa zi ba and just do all these. hai. maybe i will just help them plan their expedition then. but lucky, i spread out all my volunteering places. so even if they discover 1 also wun die. la la la.
some pple says i am not practical. all these wun earn you a rice bowl. wadava. i dun care. believe me. i wun die of hunger. but the fellow volunteers that i know this past so many mths is enough to make up for everything. fear, faliure, expectations. are just a illusion. something which humans ended up which forces them to make a choice. what matters is the end of the day. when you reach the end of your life, what do you expect most. an honours degree. maybe yes. maybe not. but not for me. you wan to be a gyne. so wad if bcome a gyne? wld people when they reach the end of the life remembered that you got a honours degree. no they wld not, but they wld remb the very lit care you gave them that touched their heart.
looking back. i am sure i made the right choice. seriously. i dun mind repeating another year. but wun it be the same story again?
fell in love at10:46