When fate decides to lend a hand,
all you have to do is go with the flow,
but when fate decides to turn its back on you,
you will have more to do than to fall and weep.
-kelli

i am stuck wth a stupid flu. a stupid fever. and a stupid sore throat.

sounds great ritez. which is why i couldn't practice piano today at all. my eyes are either tearing or closing.
gosh. i'm scared. wads these going on. so many people will be dissapointed if i dont do well. not that i am really dat concern on how people look at me. but hey. really feeling dat i can't live up to expectations mans. why is people setting so high expectations for me. at first thot maybe i am imagining it. but i am not.

got a few smses in the aft. made me cheer up quite a bit. TANKEW! omg. rehearsal tmr. HOW HOW. i am terribly screwed.



wo kuai chuan bu guo qi le.
i'm tired
which
cause me to spark off more easily.
shooting arrows a t a lot of people.

not that some people dun deserve to be scolded. just dat got irritated more easily. sorry people.

vip starting this sat. getting a bit apprehensive about camp. i'm so the got so rusty from all these. anyway. today i was so pissed dat i starting taking it out on a poor piano. i just off the lights and just anyhow play. and aft dat i got so pissed dat i tore up a score. sorry. i am really screwed. i focused on my exam the last week or so. but i improved a lot for exam of course. 2/3s of it was perfect (acc to my teacher). but somehow i realised my next two three wks was filled. and this coming thurs hve first rehearsal. so i suddenly gone dead. and practice isnt so effective as before. how. and i changing teacher. again. yes i know it. cus my present tcher really cant teach me anymore. shes busy too. but aft this i think i wun change in the near future.

tell you something great. i hve 6 piano sessions in dec and i can only turn up for one. GREAT. how. i am screwed. makeup. where got time. and the sec3s orphanage. it has to wait i guess. wait until the 20 smth where i got a bit more time.

not to mention other stuff. i am really bothered. relationships (any form) are such a chore. or rather emotions. help me pull through these two three weeks please. please. why did i agree to help in the first place. i just got myself even more messed up then ever. haha. so wad if i am special. so wad i am the only few dat can help. why why why. why din i just let you sink deeper since it is none of my business. i should have just turned and walk away.

i got myself muddy now while trying to pull someone away from the mud. wonder i am really the one to pull you away from the mud. but why me? why did i agree to. maybe because of the people around you. they care about you so much. yet you are so unappreciative. fine. this is happening to me too. so i can understand how you feel. maybe dats why i looked like the one dat able to help you. sometimes, people's concern is a form of pressure you know. i really feel like giving up and let go now. all the efforts these period of time. hang on amdis. you can't let go just like dat. after all the efforts.

life. is filled wth love. how funny. sometimes i know people are out to con me. yet i willingly took money out and "help" them. in terms of monetary terms. in terms of relationships. well, i think i made the choice to believed all your intentions are kind. all your intentions are good. i seems to hve no reaction on de surface when ppl supposed i am hurt. but dats cus i choose to believe the postive side.

love is accompanied by hurts and hatred. hate is too strong a word. i hate nobody. but i feel hurt

hurt.

you may all insisit that you are saying the truth. but yet. the fact is. the truth has many faces too.

volunteer fair. dance competition. repertorie. performance. vip. work.

jiayou amdis. you can do it.

and buck up.



i am totally ultrally sick of piano.

altho tcher said i improved a lot a lot [in terms of exams] but i dont feel lke practicing at all. be it for exams. for performance or for any other thing. sheesh. i dunno wads wrong wth me. i am like vomitting out all my medicine. wads wrong. ahh.

my bro is a piggg. i slept at 2 and woke up at 8. and he? he slept at some time before 12. and now. look at the time 10+ and hes still sleeping.



TODAY is a MAD day
which explains why i am mad now.

first. he wasnt mad at me today. at least he din scold me. for once and for fang him ge zi.
maybe he was in a good mood. heh. but dats too good a mood. made me feel very weird. very very weird.

second. lost fa comp. not that i have total confidence that they will win it beforehand. but i think they did very well alreadies. wads good is that morale was rather high and there was really solid support from the unit. which was good. happy that they tried their best. jiayou.

then went dinner wth arina. dat weird girl. asked me out for dinner. and she herself was not eating and watching me eat??!

third. piano. it totally drive me nuts. i was counting 1234 1234 then aft ant piece. it change to 1+2+3+ (my counting) and my dear tcher counting was 1++2++ so it totally drove me nuts. cus it couldn't match. and all the trills was driving me mad. cus i was in a terrible mood. and the trill is either lke 1 note short or 1 note more or one pair more. or it just purely cannot match!! and aft that some idiot was following me. but at least nvm. i felt much much better. hahah

haha. and kent.. you how old already still want to celebrate birthday.. hahaha! i thought it was a joke at first. hahaha. i can call you uncle kent liao lorh. you old enough. so our old ah kent want to celebrate birthday wor. so we are nice friends and are probably staying for hours for you okay. and it is not safe for girls at night somemore.

and ah. influence influence. hai. sometimes i wonder if they are good or bad influence. anyway i really lurve this. ah maybe i really have a talent for composing. but now no time okay! i really like this song. but ah. the last two lines should be like that instead :D 可惜不是你陪我到最後
但感谢你曾经牵过我的手



ahh cant believe it. hahaha

i finished practicing my solo. hehh. at least for the first part. wth all the dynamics and everything all quite perfect hahha. just need to make it performance like.

but i got a problem now. i need to memorise it. or practice flipping. sigh 12 pages leh. how to memorise. anyway. i practice piano for the whole day today. and i mean whole day literally. spent like 5 hrs on the solo. then went for duet prac. omg. we so got mo qi lorh. now maybe playing two duets. taking primo for one and secondo for one. ahaha fine. although it was just saying that i was just in the mood to play. quote "that kind of sad but strong mood" hehh. fine you all might not know what this mean. but i guess i understand.

anyway. since my main focus was on my exams. obviously i spent time on it. hehh. then i was baking with yuxuan. and marinating the chicken wings just now. ahhaha.



i am really going nuts soon.

i spent the whole of ytd practicing my repertorie.. not sure if the spelling is correct. and the tempo was at first very wrong. altho it might sound perfectly all right too others. at least acc to my cousin. but a few notes were still out. cus i bet teacher will notice it. so i spent my whole afternoon wth the dear metronome and sat there counting 1234 1234. and it's finally finally not out. and. that was only like 3-4 pages only.

anyway. i wanted to pick a simple song for performace. cus think my main focus would still beon my exams.. and duet one also not easy.. not sure if we would have mo qi.. at first pick clair de lune. but my cousin said shouldn't pick those sian songs and should pick more challenging songs. anyway. i found out later that all the famous songs are played by other ppl le. like chopin's famous nouturnes. mozart's turkish march. blah blah blah. then i was flipping and flipping through. then i suddenly thought of my darling sonatas! haha. not that i am very good at sonatas. just that i like the way they sound. kays maybe only the first movement. hahha. but i finally pick the sonata in b flat. by mozart. li like the first and third movement. but the second movement is kinda sians. hahaa. but it's kinda long. like a million pages. kays obviously i am joking. which makes it more prone to mistakes. hehh. maybe i should just play one movement. ehheh

and. as i was talking about sonatas. i like one thing about beethovan sonatas. it's all talking about his life stories. but hey music is a language ahaha. tomorrow is class chalet. i haven make up my mind if i should cook fried rice. spagetti and curry chicken is confirmed. hai.. cus if i cook fried rice. got an egg problem. some people cant eat eggs. then maybe cook beehoon better. beehoon nonid eggs. hahah.



you know what? i am going nuts soon.

someone just drop a bomb on me.
i got sabo to perform at esplanade.

shall repeat again: AT ESPLANADE?
hello? and dere's only like less than one month??!!

hadn't pick song. hadn't practice. hadn't anything yet!
and it's a solo AND duet. highlight: duet. means need to pull time to practice.

and i just came back from piano from ms meiji. she totally demoralised me. fine. i know my exams pieces are totally horrible. meaning that i need to work real real hard. i can't even play correctly. legato! legato! fingering! fingering! style! blah. so i need to practice my erms. exam pieces. and MUST practice this hols.

next tues got class chalet bbq. and right. food again. me. prepare everything liao. but still need to marinate. i am really going nuts. and i got outing to plan and i got christmas party to plan.
christmas is coming! and i got class gathering to plan. and vip is coming. and salvation army christmas thingy. so plus all the treats other ppl promised and i promised. my whole hols are filled.

and most importantly. i promise my cousin to teach her to cook.
how? where got time?

anyway shall talk about ytd's amazing race.

my group won second! second! out of ten teams.
yay! and the ah-ma and the ah-gong is sho nice. knew julian from the police force in the mist of the race. he's super duper tall. apprently hes from the major crime cases kind. ah-haa. and we could got first okay. the team that got first illegal parking kays! unlike us. so guai. anyway. what matters is all of them had fun. hahaha. the kids are so cute also.

and i was looking at someone grade7 theory paper just now. trying to like mark. and some parts looks like totally foreign to me. erbs. i got loads of things to do. hehh.




happy birthday candy and jiin and shihua!

whoops. a bit belated. but nvm it's the sincerity that counts right?
anyway. i gave them presents way before hand.

whoa. i never blog for ten days. ten whole days.

hai. so sleepy. amazing race later. hope everything turn out fine. apparently paired up wth some police force guy called julian. and coincidentlly the driver is also called julian. (hahah. yeah i am on the van! yay!) so there are two julians. and i haven memorise the checkpoints. HOW ? -_-

anw. today was rainning cats and dogs. saw ms meiji. taking over ms law. went on maternity leave. heard ms law gave birth on the 3rd. baby boy. preetty cutie. hehs. and besides the amazing race. i realise i got double appointment tmr. hai. but shant think so much. chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi. and i realise i promise a lot of people dates. but i haven fix up the time and date yet.

including. paru's jack place treat. auntie's airport treat. yuxuan's seoul treat. jen's shopping treat. the kiddies' treat. really miss them. so long never see them. and blah blah blah. sigh. you should know yourself. hehh.

oh and i promise a lot of people. time is really running out. i thought i would be free-er duirng hols. but apparently i am not. and i am super broke after paying for the bbq food. class bbq next week. sigh. and i need to find time to cook. i know i am a pro cook but i need to find 2-3 hours to prepare and marinate all the food at least. hai.

my eyelids are closing. shant type any more.
OH. and i love jay chou's new songs.

especially 夜曲 . my favourite.
and all because of yyou.



看到他就气. 真的很气.
每次只会惹人生气.
怎么有那么讨厌的人在这个世上呢?

真的气到肚子痛了



i think i must be mad.

anyone. blogging cus i sort of never blog the last few days. i really dun like public hols. sigh. not that i like to go sch but just that public hols is such that.. everything is like so dead.. anyway. i am suddenly plunged into volunteer stuff again. daadeedum. this hols is like. hai. very packed but i not exactly looking forward to it.

hai. nothing to say. haha. so bye!

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