Wednesday, July 14, 2004
nvr blog yesterdae..alot of ppl ask me why. mmm. tis shows tt alot ppl reading my blog but nvr tag.. but i dun reali care who's reading tho. went to hq yesterdae. tink the jurong guys are very farni. expect to buy 230+ bucks of stuff with 100 bucks.. haha. in the end, i was nice enuff to lend dem money. cos dey live in jurong. abit far for dem to cum down to hq.. anw, victoria guys are also dere. and apparently dey need 6 ppl to buy uniform acessories. hmmm. anw. finally settled the sfa mess. it's reali a mess. haha. but the ibs badges mess still in a mess.
anw, tt's yesterdae. felt rather crazy at gym finals.. was uttering nonsense.. perhaps i was bored. eryone said i was so hyper. but feel the exact opposite now. i dunno why. i just broke down agn.
i cried again i reali culdn't control myself. jus saw sumone's sms and i jus cried on the spot. perhaps cos i was listening to sum music. it smoothen my mood. so i wasn't exactly feelin high at all. den when it came. i jus culdn't take it anymore. i keep asking myself to endure one more year. or rather 11 more mths. but dun tink i can take it.. we jus dun share the same values or goals.. even when u say u believe u can. if u reali cannot take it. u reali cannot take. i tink i qte independent in most ppl's eyes. in a sense tt i can work alone and my parents dun reali care abt me much. so yea. i guess my parents gave all their attention to my bro. and i dun try to seek for attention either. anw, i dun tink dey can gif me the attention i reali want. zing asked me a very good qsn act, why endure when u can have peace? the simple answer is tt i tink it will lead to more conflicts. perhaps the situation now is betta.. one psn unhappy is betta den so many ppl bein unhappy. yesterdae, sumone asked me a qsn, "do u lke ur committee?" act, i neva tot of tt qsn before. but at that moment, i hesitated for a long time, until mebe 10 secs later i said it's qte ok. alot of ppl say i say things in a very straightforward way, at to tat qsn, i act hesitated ba, i dunno wadda say. i am sorry to say tat i reali reali lost it.. but it doesn't matter to me now. i tink jus let nature take it course. i dunwan to force anyting or anyone now.
quote from sumburdie: "if ur values ain't aligned, u either acomodate or quit"
but i am tire of accomodating.
fell in love at23:49
