Friday, July 09, 2004
yikes. i can't believe it. i treat a casulty todae.. oh man. it happen so sudden de. peishan ma'am jus knock the room and told me and els tt dere is a casulty in the hall and i jus grab the fa kit and pass it to els and we ran to the hall as fast as possible. and it was alot of blood. i think we were qte calm at that time. and for the first time for my life, i am relieved and do not regret that i bought gloves for our fa kit. hahahha, but den now haf to replenish most of the first aid kits..
again.. with triangular bandages out of stock, cos we sorta used 3 first aid kits to treat her.. this reali sux. but back to the casulty.. it was reali terrible.. as in her wound. and i am amazed at how calm i was at that time. compared to mass evacs we had at trng camp. prob bcos alot of ppl were screaming during camps. and tis time it is unusually slient, altho dere's loads of ppl..
anw.we treated her. and the first time tt i feel tt the ambulance take forever to cum. and thanks to the tchers who were giving alot of useful and unuseful comments and advice. but who cares. anw. den after she went into the ambulance, we cleared up the blood and erything we used. then go back to rc room and put down the stuff. and went needlework rm for debrief. apparently. this pole drop and hit her head and she got hurt jus liddat. and the pole was real heavy and it's from the celling lolx. anw. hope she's ok.. and i could see tt many ppl were tramatised ltr. i din feel tramatised lol. but when i went back to the rc room and recall the incident and i reali feel horrible. okae, i tink i betta forget abt the incident anyway. and els and i were talking abt gloves. we were saying tt it might seems insignificant and nonid, but at real emergency times, we reali need it yah..
and i realised a trend in my moods. when i am very high, i am usu very nice and wun scold ppl. but when i am feeling low, i wld jus scream at anyone i see. and that's why i am very afraid tt i wld scream at tmr's i/cs. this is really bad man. and too bad if i lost my temper. i dun wan to. but hopefully, i can control it. anyway, todae cle'e lesson is quite meaningful. oh btw, we changed places.. again. sitting at my term 1 seat now. and he jus refused to change me to the back lo, even when sum1 behind cannot see and wants to change to the front.. he still refused to change me. it's not reali in front ba. it's the 2nd row act. anw. cle.. we were taking abt our values and i think what he said made sum gd sense reali. lke when one values do not align with the organisation values, u can only do two things. quit or change your values. or u wld jus haf to put up a fake front erydae and pretend ur values are the same as ur organisation. u will be beri tire in tis way.. which i tink wad is happening to me.. in a certain sense.. i dun feel lke changing a lot of my values cos i wld lose wad i reali feel myself. i noe abit selfish de, but tt's why i am willing to change, but not change all. to give up what u reali lurve is v. hard sometimes. i want to quit but i jus fang3 bu1 xia4. i guess tt's pretty alike to sumone i noe recently. she gave herself loads of chances.. thinking tt the situation wld improve. but i guess.. it's jus liddat in life sumtimes ba. cos she also fang3 bu1 xia4 at that time.. but she gave up in the end i tink.. she quit aledi [i think] anyway.
anw. forgot to say yesterdae.. mite not be able to go for trng kemp.. if it is in nov. cos gg china for exchange prog. haix. dun tink dey nid me much anw. cos i tink i've been taking the background role now ever since we take over. i wld miss my role as group mentor most act. but nvr mind, shall enjoy myself in china. oh yea,i finish the management crisis proposal le. oh i rawk.. hahhahha. and i settled yearbook [sort of], fototaking.. so happi.. but i tink i killed els on the mist of settling yearbk. but owells. oh shit, i 4got gif shing the list for nametags agn.. ahh. i sucks. haix. i contridict myself. oh wadava. i got more things to settle arnd..
fell in love at17:17
