Thursday, October 20, 2005
i figured out that i din blog for quite some time.
maybe it's the happenings around made me feel like that. mixed feelings. a tinge of sadness wth some essence of happiness. but calm most of the times. i juse really don't know. dun ask me to choose. don't ask me to feel. i am scared that my feelings are wrongg. i am scared that my feelings are misleading. but you know what. i found my courage today to say this. i am willing to walk this journey with you. for this short period. the pain wun disappear. but let it be as minimal as possible.
sometimes it's really ironic. dun want to do it. yet we are forced to do it. why? because of the people around us. i suddenly wondered how many days that i live for myself. it is so funny. i realise how many people are fighting for my attention everyday. yet i don't feel treasured. am i too.. cant find a word to describe? but well.
doing my philo essay. about jurisprudence. philosophy of law. and i only got 920 words. aiming for at least 1200. sigh. please. please. don't say things that will affect my feelings and thoughts. i know what you want me to do and i don't want to do it. i know once i got involved. it will be like this pool of mud. i would never be out of this. i am already in a big pool of mud that i soon cant manage. everything you all saying now is just meant to make me feel bad. and making me give in in the end. i think it is a rather known fact that i am very easy to convince. because i cant bear to said no most of the times. but why is everyone taking advantage of it?
fell in love at23:26
