Monday, November 28, 2005
wo kuai chuan bu guo qi le.
i'm tired
which
cause me to spark off more easily.
shooting arrows a t a lot of people.
not that some people dun deserve to be scolded. just dat got irritated more easily. sorry people.
vip starting this sat. getting a bit apprehensive about camp. i'm so the got so rusty from all these. anyway. today i was so pissed dat i starting taking it out on a poor piano. i just off the lights and just anyhow play. and aft dat i got so pissed dat i tore up a score. sorry. i am really screwed. i focused on my exam the last week or so. but i improved a lot for exam of course. 2/3s of it was perfect (acc to my teacher). but somehow i realised my next two three wks was filled. and this coming thurs hve first rehearsal. so i suddenly gone dead. and practice isnt so effective as before. how. and i changing teacher. again. yes i know it. cus my present tcher really cant teach me anymore. shes busy too. but aft this i think i wun change in the near future.
tell you something great. i hve 6 piano sessions in dec and i can only turn up for one. GREAT. how. i am screwed. makeup. where got time. and the sec3s orphanage. it has to wait i guess. wait until the 20 smth where i got a bit more time.
not to mention other stuff. i am really bothered. relationships (any form) are such a chore. or rather emotions. help me pull through these two three weeks please. please. why did i agree to help in the first place. i just got myself even more messed up then ever. haha. so wad if i am special. so wad i am the only few dat can help. why why why. why din i just let you sink deeper since it is none of my business. i should have just turned and walk away.
i got myself muddy now while trying to pull someone away from the mud. wonder i am really the one to pull you away from the mud. but why me? why did i agree to. maybe because of the people around you. they care about you so much. yet you are so unappreciative. fine. this is happening to me too. so i can understand how you feel. maybe dats why i looked like the one dat able to help you. sometimes, people's concern is a form of pressure you know. i really feel like giving up and let go now. all the efforts these period of time. hang on amdis. you can't let go just like dat. after all the efforts.
life. is filled wth love. how funny. sometimes i know people are out to con me. yet i willingly took money out and "help" them. in terms of monetary terms. in terms of relationships. well, i think i made the choice to believed all your intentions are kind. all your intentions are good. i seems to hve no reaction on de surface when ppl supposed i am hurt. but dats cus i choose to believe the postive side.
love is accompanied by hurts and hatred. hate is too strong a word. i hate nobody. but i feel hurt
hurt.
you may all insisit that you are saying the truth. but yet. the fact is. the truth has many faces too.
volunteer fair. dance competition. repertorie. performance. vip. work.
jiayou amdis. you can do it.
and buck up.
fell in love at22:10
